Once again The Twilight saga has reared its ugly head on us with its misuse of how Vampires should be portrayed. ( A good example would be currently in Marvel’s Death of Dracula one shot currently on sale.) To sum up the Twilight saga so far, Girl moves to town meets boy. Girl finds out Boy is Vampire. Girl falls in love with Vampire just in time for him to leave. Girl falls in love with boy next door finds out he is a Were Wolf. Vampire returns, now girl must decide is she likes her meat warm and fuzzy or icy cold. I will say one good thing about Twilight is it has brought many young people into the Horror genre. They are discovering what other forms of Vampire films are out there.
The dialog in this film can be summed up in one word terrible. The cheese is so strong you could cut it with a nife. In one scene when Edward and Bella are lying together he actually says “You will always be my Bella”. Why oh lord why did he say that. Thats something boy Twi fans ( kinda like a Trekie) say to there girl friends and it makes them pudding in their hands. In a scene that could be taken from Brokeback Mountain or a good adult film. Edward Jacob and Bella are all in a ten and Jacob tell Bells to take her clothes off to keep warm, something Edward wants to kill him for. It a smooth move on his part to win Bella over. Then Jacob and Edward have a tender moment with out wanting to kill each other. You want to laugh so hard with the tounge in cheek homo erotic nature of the scene. It’s the best comedy in the whole movie. The action fight scenes are right out of The Matrix there is so much wire work going on it makes the fight seem more ridicules than fictional. Having not read the book I can’t judge too much how it compares, but many Twi Fans have said the movie leaves a lot out and focusses way too much on Bella and Edward making goo goo eyes at each other. The acting really slows down the pace of the movie and you have to wonder why they don’t pick it up a notch after all the complaints from the first two films.
All in all it really is a long-winded chick flick and nothing no self-respecting guy can get behind. For a good guy fest Vampire movie check out John Carpenters Vampires staring James Woods. If you do go see it check it out at the Entertainment Cinema in Leominster MA.
